The second I walked in I was pelted in the face with paintball guns. They refused to clean it and then broke my glasses. I found a seat and as soon as the waiter came by they splashed a vat of hydrochloric acid in my...
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The second I walked in I was pelted in the face with paintball guns. They refused to clean it and then broke my glasses. I found a seat and as soon as the waiter came by they splashed a vat of hydrochloric acid in my face. Luckily I had my forcefield on that day. Anyways I order mozzarella sticks and mac and cheese. When the stick came, I opened them, and instead of being filled with fresh, stringy mozzarella cheese, they were filled with magnets. Not cheese, just really hot magnets that were stuffed into an empty breaded stick. They tasted good though. My friend who had many lip, nose and eyebrow piercings did not seem to agree after having them ruthlessly ripped out by the sheer force of these magnets. When my mac & cheese arrived, the plate was empty besides a piece of paper with GPS coordinates. I left the restaurant and drove to those coordinates. In the middle of the Siberian tundra lied a rotting whale carcass, and inside the whale carcass was a piping hot plate of mac & cheese. I returned to the restaurant with my mac & cheese and ate the entire thing, whale carcass and all. The teenagers working at the counter then walked over to me pelted me in the face repeatedly with a large sack full of severed human toes. They left me the sack as an offering of peace. I left that restaurant with a bag of rotting toes and magnets. As I walked to my car, Brian Piazza crawled out from underneath. When I asked him why he was there, he ignored me and simply walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead. Now I've been kissed on the forehead at a restaurant more than most people (as you'd know from my past reviews). But this was special. I could smell the magnets in his breath. It was a life-changing experience.